I Blame You

I hope you pathetic cretins are happy. This blog is DEAD!

Not really.

No, Alex and I are combining our blogs into one, as part of the preparation of launching the actual comic. That’s right, we’re not far away now!

My side of it, of course, the writing, has been ready for ages. But Alex isn’t used to cartooning, so he’s still not quite ready. Personally, I think it would help if he spent more than 10 minutes every couple of days practicing we’d be there already, but hey, who am I to judge?

Anyway, the comic will be found here at first (it’s free): link

And the blog will be here: link

Enjoy!

Merry Christmas/Fuck You

Christmas. Disgusting.

From its origin, Christmas has been a warped celebration of commercialism and hedonism, masquerading under the guise of religion, goodwill and carols. Whatever it is to you, it’s guaranteed to be venomous.

For a time of year so focused on peace on Earth, and good will towards all, Christmas is a remarkably stressful time. This time of year, people get more stressed, more tired, and more ill-tempered. The time of Christmas places an enormous pressure on all of us, and for no good reason.

The cause of most of the stress, of course, is gift giving. For some reason, on the day originally marked to celebrate the birth of one religion’s supposed savior, we pour out cash and credit into the wallets of manufacturers and retailers. Apparently, materialistic indulgence is a legitimate form of celebration and worship for a long passed religious icon. The icons of this holiday of self indulgence, for unfathomable reasons, include a tree, flying deer, and a fat man in a red suit who lives, for some reason, in a self imposed arctic exile. A shining example of elite capitalist greed, he works only one day of the year, breaking and entering into peoples’ houses, and stealing food and drink left out for him. In his defence, he does leave them gifts, but rather than legally obtaining them, they are constructed by his army of diminutive slaves.

But the spirit of Christmas, surely that is alive and well. At the end of it all, people are happy just to sit back, relax, and enjoy their one mgical day, right?

Wrong.

Christmas day is far from the pleasant and relaxing day it’s touted as. Sleepless children, bitter about not receiving their ideal gift(s) (and isn’t that the height of disgust. For no reason other than a ridiculous social convention, they are given gifts, yet rather than embrace these, they complain and feel, of all things, disappointment, or even anger. Our culture has developed to a stage where gifts are an expectation, almost one of our ‘God given rights’, something we mustn’t be deprived of at all costs), stressful visits to family and fighting, and an absurd drive not to waste one of the few days off they have for the year.

Now, people dread the arrival of Christmas, even as they sing gleefully and count down the days. They long for it as society says they should, all the while horrified at the thought of another month of pressure filled gift buying, crowded shopping centres, and hastily made plans for family and friends.

But despite its lack of redeeming qualities, we throw ourselves headlong into this holiday every year without fail, each year spending more and more, and killing ourselves, bit by bit.

Sobriety and Society, Part 2

Alright worms, time for part 2.

Part 2, you may remember, is focussed around strip clubs. Yes, those dank, dark, whore-infested caverns of hedonism and filth that young males seem so fond of these days.

A challenge. Where to start? It seems these obscene hellholes were created for the sole purpose of being criticised and hated. Oh, if only it were so easy.

Let’s start with the women. If you can fairly call them that. They are paid to remove their clothing and dance erotically. Now, they fall into one of several catagories. They are either:

Whores. No explanation needed.

Liars. They kid themselves, thinking what they do is a legitimate and respectable art form, like real dancing. It’s not.

Manipulative. I actually don’t hate these ones. They know stupid men will pay them for a service that costs them very little in time or effort, and they cash in on that. Hardly a respectable career, but if they’re happy, I can’t really complain.

Pathetic. For whatever reason, this is all they believe they can amount to. Low self esteem, a troubled past, poor circumstances, whatever. They’ve deftly located the easy solution to their problems, and taken it unashamedly.

I should say now (in case it wasn’t already obvious enough) that these women, all of them, are scum, and do nothing to detract from the stereotype that women should be seen and not heard. Ironically enough, they are likely the same women who will bitch and moan when something good happens to a man over them, and cry foul play, when really, it’s their own stupidity and lack of character that led to them being passed up.

In fact, I just may do a blog on femenism soon. I’d like that.

Anyway, onto the men.

Fuck, I loathe these men.

They two can fall into catagories. This time, one of two.

Single.

Not single.

Guess which one is worse?

Guys, if you’re in a relationship of ANY kind, you should stay the fuck away from these places. Unless you have explicit permission from your significant other to oggle semi naked women, you’re a complete ass and you don’t deserve her (or him). If she has no problem with it, you’re only as bad as the single men. It’s cheating, whether you want to think of it as that or not. You’re going to another woman for sexual gratification. And I don’t want to hear this ‘I don’t take orders from her. I do what I want’ bullshit. Fuck you. You’re in a relationship, she’s not your slave. If she has a problem with it, and she probably will, don’t fucking do it. Or, work out a compromise.

And no, she’s not intimidated by them. She’s not being an emotional or crazy. You’re a mysoginistic fuck, and she has every right to be angry. It’s not insecurity, it’s betrayal. Think how you’d feel if you came home to her giving a lap dance to your best friend. That’s not half of what she feels, because you clearly lack the emotional capacity to feel anything on the same scale as her.

And what’s this shit about going with your mates, or helping a friend through a break up or some shit? Grow a fucking spine you worthless shit. Or, in language you understand, grow some balls. Passing up on a night at a strip club to avoid the wrath of your significant other is NOT whipped. It’s responsible and it’s being decent. And if you can’t withstand the peer pressure, you’re no better than that piece of shit underneath your shoe, that you’ve been stepping on for the past hour.

So, let’s move onto the singles.

You suck. Seriously. What the fuck.

Ok, there are a number of reasons why you could be here. Not one of them excuses you from being a pathetic creep. You’re paying money to stare at women. If nothing else, you can do that for free at home. It’s called the internet. So first of all, you’re stupid.

Second, what possibly gratification can you gleam from this? Do you enjoy being teased by women who feel anything from indifference to disdain towards you? Do you honestly believe they like/care about you? They don’t. No-one does. Not even your mother you whiny little shit.

Maybe it makes you feel more like a man. You’re not. Paying for/enjoying lapdances does not increase your masculinity, it only makes you a blight on society. If you were really a man, you’d go out and find a girl and make her swoon. But you can’t do that, can you? Because you’re a pathetic coward afraid of rejection. Because you clearly have no idea how to deal with the opposite sex. Because this is so much easier. Because you can’t fuck this up, no matter how hard you try. Because you’re drunk or high. Whatever the case may be, fuck you. Grow up, get a life, and get the fuck out of the strip club.

I could go on forever, but I think I’ll leave it there, for now. I doubt any of you have learned anything, but all I can do is try.

Sobriety and Society

I happened to read an article recently that drew heavily on our drinking culture. A whole story based around a group of guys who got drunk, went out to a strip club, and almost got murdered on their way home. Apparently, a fairly normal night out, the only noteworthy point being the aforementioned attempted murder. Not that an attempted murder shouldn’t ever not be noteworthy, but when your standard evening consists of drunken visits to strip clubs, you’ve got a problem.

I’d like to start this rant off by stating that I do not understand guys. By which I mean, the stereotypical male who enjoys drinking, mysoginy and fast cars. The appeal of drinking, whilst certainly not exclusively male, seems to have embedded itself far deeper into the masculine side of our culture, though sadly, it’s perpetually increasing on both sides. Having never drunk before, I can’t say I speak from experience, but how consuming a beverage that impedes your ability to think, destroys your brain cells and liver, and leaves you with little more than a hangover and no memory of the night before (and, if you’re unlucky, a whale of a skank lying next to you in a puddle of vomit and heroin) became our pasttime of choice I’ll never know.

I truly can not comprehend the appeal of such an endeavor. What compels people to consume such a vile substance? From what I hear, the taste is nothing praise worthy, and if you’re not drinking it for the taste, why are you drinking it? Some people, I hear, drink it to ‘loosen up’, by which they mean they’re too spineless to carry through with what they want, so they drink to inhibit their inhibitions, and do things they know they’ll regret. I can almost understand that, though I can’t in any way respect it.

What I think it boils down to, is society. Drinking is a social activity. We drink because that’s what everyone else does. It’s simply assumed that it’s the logical way to spend time. It’s so deep within our media, every movie and show that we watch, that by the time we’re of drinking age, we can’t help but to do it. Even when we know, deep down, that it’s essentially futile and damaging, it’s so ingrained into our beings, through our culture, that we are nigh unable to question it at even the most basic level.

So then. ‘Drinking Responsibly.’ What the fuck is that? Obviously, restricting your drinking to the level that you do not pass out, throw up, cause yourself any damage, lose too much control over your actions. Why then, would you drink? Now, I certainly view this as the lesser of two evils. But I have to say, it seems even more pointless than drinking to excess. What possible fucking reason could you have for drinking, if you didn’t want to experience the symptoms of heavy inebriation?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to pass off drinking as some unholy, immoral sin, nor even a reproachable or offensive action. People drink, and I’m ok with that. I just cannot for the life of me understand why. I do have a high degree of disdain for those into the excessive drinking culture, but I accept that people can destroy themselves in whatever manner they see fit, and I don’t object to that. I simply don’t respect it.

The reason I brought up males in particular, by the way, was the strip club element of the story. Unfortunately, this has run a little longer than I expected, so I’ll have to write part 2 another day.

The other other white meat

There’s a baby in close proximity. It’s taking all my self control not to seize the nearest sharp object and give the infantile rioter something to cry about.

I’m hungry.

The Burning Offensive

I figure, if millions of brain dead retards can have their own blogs, and crap on about their crappy days and how pointless and empty their lives are, I can have one too. So, yeah.

I officially declare war upon the internet, and the vacuous and deplorable cretins that inhabbit it. We march!